Home » Love and Marriage » The Pros and Cons of a Traveling Husband

The Pros and Cons of a Traveling Husband

Thank you for being a friend.

Thank you for being a friend.

My husband just accepted a job which will put him back on the road during the week.  For those of you who know us, this is something with which we are familiar.  His last job kept him on the road and home every other weekend.  It was awful.  At the start of the job, we had a 3 and a 1 year old.  This lovely period lasted 2 ½ years before he was let go last August.

Now, we start another job with a better company that will bring him home on the weekends.  The kids are now 4 and 6, so a bit more manageable on my end.  Well, I hope.

Therefore, in an attempt to make myself feel better, I thought I’d make myself a pros and cons list of a traveling husband.

PRO – The bed all to myself (well, along with my long-suffering cat, Ezra, who by the way will be thrilled to have me all to herself again).  No loud snoring.  No pokes in the back at 11:30 going, “Just real quick???” I would say no bed hogging or cover stealing, but for this transgression,  I am the sole perpetrator, therefore placing it on his pros list and not mine.  Also, no more hearing, “Why do you have so many freakin covers? I am roasting!”  And best of all, no more dutch ovens, you know, the kind that linger, and permeate the sheets.

Yep, pretty much.

Yep, pretty much.

CON – The bed all to myself.  No getting to elbow him when a kid starts coughing and saying, “I got it last time,” even though he totally doesn’t know there was no last time.  No one to scare the bejesus out of in the middle of the night by slapping him awake when I hear something crash.  “Mark!!! Wake up!  Someone is trying to break in, go out there and use your superhero ninja powers to fight them off!  I’ll be right behind you with my blow dryer….What?  It was just the shower caddy falling off the wall? Oh sorry.”

PRO – No more coming home to such non-diet friendly dinners such as super nachos, hot dogs, burgers, pizza and so on.

This deliciousiness I cannot make on my own - it must be forced upon me.

This deliciousness I cannot make on my own – it must be forced upon me.

CON – No more coming home to such non-diet friendly dinners such as super nachos, hot dogs, burgers, pizza and so on.  Now I have to cook my own crap and for the kids too, all in a 15 minute window.

PRO – I can work out every night after the kids go to bed. No reserving my energy for other late night cardiovascular activities.   I can work out, shower, and go to sleep.

Cause I could totally look like this - Mark has totally been holding me back from my true self.

Cause I could totally look like this – Mark has totally been holding me back from my true self.

CON – I can work out every night after the kids go to bed. No reserving my energy for other late night cardiovascular activities.   My husband has some SKILZ, which will have to wait until the weekend.  (At this point, my family is throwing up in their mouth a little, but hey, what can I say?  I don’t have a smut addiction for nothing.)

Actual picture of my husband.  Ignore the silly writing.  Don't my hands look thin??

Actual picture of my husband. Ignore the silly writing. Don’t my hands look thin??

PRO – I have complete control over my household once again.  No one to forget to tell the daycare and/or school something or pack the wrong thing in their lunches.  No more forgotten paperwork.  No gym shorts on the floor or chip crumbs in front of the TV (after a particularly stressful night of Black Ops).  No more doing the laundry or loading the dishwasher wrong.

A particularly tense evening at home.

A particularly tense evening at home.

CON – I am the only one in charge of my household again.  I have to do all the above mentioned annoying things ALONE.   He might forget some stuff or do it wrong, but at least someone was doing it.

PRO – No more smell of Red Hot.  Dude puts that crap on everything.  It’s disgusting.  Singes the nostrils.

Gross, just gross.

Gross, just gross.

CON – No con, that shit is gross.

PRO – The bathroom gets more “open” time.  We were dumb enough to buy a house with one friggin bathroom and this man goes more than anyone I know.  He eats, he poops. Every. Single. Time.   For like a half hour each time.  If I see him with a phone, kindle or laptop heading down the hallway, I know I am on my own for the next hour or so.  No more asking the kids to hold out just a bit longer, he’ll be out soon.  Once, Will knocked on the door and said, ‘’Dad could you not play your games this time? I really have to go!”  All parents hide in the bathroom, but my dear husband does it at least six times a day.

Again, a completely real picture of my bathroom.  Who wouldn't want to live in  here?

Again, a completely real picture of my bathroom. Who wouldn’t want to live in here?

CON – No con, it will be nice to have a semi-available bathroom again.  He can decimate the hotel toilets during the week.  I will get to go back to my absolutely-no-privacy, 2 kid hug party while I am taking care of business.

So, there you have it, my started list of pros and cons.  This did make me feel a bit better, however, I am sure the cons list will grow longer when he actually leaves.  I might try to talk my husband to do a guest post, where maybe he can give an honest pros/cons list to traveling.

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