Good news! After a trial week working from home, my husband has been given the green light to work every other week from the “home office.” Yes, folks Fun Dad is coming home, at least fortnightly. No, that’s not right, but I really want to use that word, so go with it.
He will be setting up an elaborate bat cave downstairs, whereupon he will put out nationwide construction fires and calm down very panicky subcontractors and clients. He’s my Bruce Wayne of Project Management.
Mark doesn’t leave the house. Ever. Mark is also somewhat allergic to cats, or something in the house anyways, and by the end of his trial period last week he was barely breathing and was a snotty, red-nosed, wheezing mess. I think this has been made worse since he really hasn’t lived at home in roughly 5 years, so any tolerance he had built up prior to has been blown away by weeks away with regular housekeeping, mints on pillows and other such luxuries.
So, the question becomes this. What can I do with my kitty-cat? My Ezra. My snuggle bunny since 1999. My beautiful black cat, who’s not once peed outside her litterbox, and outside of an occasional runny nose and poop danglers, has been an exemplary cat?
Here’s where your help comes in. Below I have outlined a complicated point system determining husband and cat’s attractions and detractions. At the end, we can decide which one will have to go.
Point Husband: Husband takes up less of the bed at night than Cat.
Point Cat: Husband snores louder.
Point to each: BOTH have the annoying trait of poking at me for attention after the kids have gone to sleep and I finally have 2 minutes to myself. Both eventually bite if they are overstimulated.
Point Husband: I don’t have to scoop husband’s poop.
Point Cat: Cat does not take 30 minute poops 3X a day.
Point Husband: Husband sheds less. Unless he’s shaving, then the sink looks like a yeti trimmed his pubes. Wash it down the drain MAN!
Point Husband: Husband helps around the house more.
Point Cat: Husband does not get excited when I take naps, whereas Cat is thrilled.
Point to each: Both hate dogs. Con. Neither would pick up poop if we finally grant my oldest’s wish to give him a dog.
Point Cat: Cat loves my new boots. She rubs her face on them in appreciation. Husband goes, “WHERE’D YOU GET THOSE?!” Dang, I didn’t think he’d notice since I still have the boxes hidden in the car.
Point Husband: Husband is a pro traveler. Not once during our last trip did he howl from his cage.
So, there you have it folks. Who do I keep?
How about some who’s cuter pics?
I don’t know, it’s a tough call.