Step 1: September-October
Pin every cute, adorable idea you see on Pinterest that is Halloween related.
Step 2: Beginning of October
Narrow pins down to ones that can be done in 3 steps or less and with 5 or less ingredients.
Step 3: Beginning to Mid-October
Forget about it all.
Step 4: 3 Days Before Fall/Halloween Party
Frantically run to Michael’s only to find the Halloween stuff picked over, all in haphazard piles of broken pumpkins and melty witches.
See Christmas stuff already in place. Freak out. Grab all the pipe cleaners and construction paper you can find, and dejectedly get in line with the other procrastinators. Hold back tears.
Step 5: 2 Days Before Fall/Halloween Party
Free form cut 30 pumpkins and 30 monsters out of construction paper at midnight. Propped up only on the hidden candy you’ve discovered your husband hid from you unsuccessfully. Try to make spider legs out of pipe cleaners that won’t support the weight of the Tootsie Pop body. Cry. Xanax.
Step 6: 1 Day Before Fall/Halloween Party
Awake lying face first on candy wrappers with construction paper glued to your cheek. Get kids ready for school only to find it’s Spirit Week and they need special “crazy” socks. Take a pair of socks and Sharpie the word “CRAZY” on the side of their socks. Thank God for rainbow Sharpies. Wish you would have thought of this for Crazy Hair Day.
Step 7: Day of Fall/Halloween Party
Throw said items in a plastic bag. Run in through the cold and rain. Try to explain to 30 kindergarteners what to do without just doing it for them. Run and hug the mom who just brought in a piñata. Find a seat in the back of the class and enjoy the show. Just stay away from the 5/6 year olds with a stick.